One of the most helpful questions we can ask ourselves is: How do I want to feel in my life?
Day to day, moment to moment, what are the dominant feelings you want to experience most?
We often seek new contents (such as clothing, a house or a vehicle) or experiences (such as a new haircut or a trip around the world) to feel differently. We are sometimes mislead in thinking, once I have that new (fill in the blank) item I will feel ‘better.’ So often we are disappointed because our state of being barely changes or the feeling only lasts a short while.
Lately, in my counselling sessions with mothers I have noticed a theme around wanting to feel happier. This is very legitimate and I can totally relate. One mother explained: “I look around and see I have a lot to be happy for yet I don’t feel happy”.
There comes a time when we are ready to ask: Does my life feel in or out of alignment with my desires?
The truth is, whether we sometimes realize it or not, we are committed to our current state. We want what we have. We chose it – most often, unconsciously. Stop and think about it for a moment. If you are willing to be fully responsible for your state of being, knowing that you hold the power to choose what life’s experiences mean to you, what have you currently chosen for yourself?
Day to day, do you see what has gone well?
Or, are you more inclined to focus on what is going poorly?
If the goal is to feel happy, we must allow ourselves to focus on what brings us happiness and Let That In. Do you believe that you deserve to feel more love, more connection, more joy, more happiness? We have to get really clear on what we choose to see and believe, because that is what we experience.
Imagine you are wearing a pair of glasses that determine your perception of life. These glasses are the interface between life happening around you and how you interpret life’s events. What kind of glasses do you choose? It’s your choice.
I can be highly critical. It’s a valuable skill to have and yet when it is my dominant pair of glasses I miss seeing the positive aspects of my life. I can get caught up in giving too much of my energy and focus to how things can be improved, rather than appreciating the connection, support and joy that is right in front of me.
I’m not suggesting you only wear rose coloured glasses and dismiss the pain and suffering that is very real in the world. I am suggesting that you choose wisely what you wish to focus on because it becomes you.