Motherhood: The Ultimate Motivator to Getting My Sh*t Together
I was never the woman who knew she wanted to have babies. Nope. That wasn’t me. I thrived on independence and my successes including a degree from UBC in Vancouver, British Columbia, travelling the world exploring and studying, conquering mountain tops and revelling in long expeditions on northern rivers.
First a Stepmother, Then A Mother
Being raised by my father for 10 years, I had 3 stepmothers who were very influential in my life. Little did I know I would then become a stepmother more than once. For 30 years of my life I was a step daughter, and then a stepmother. I am familiar with the inherent challenges of developing a deep bond with a child that is not your own.
I recently took the plunge and had my own child. I say plunge because at times I feel like I stepped off a cliff, unsure of what was beneath me. I toiled with the decision for quite some time. How would it change my life? Would I be a good enough mother? Could the planet sustain another human? There were so many things to consider and despite it feeling nearly impossible to know or feel ready, ultimately I took the plunge.
The Biggest Life Change I Ever Experienced: Motherhood
There was no way I could prepare for how much my life changed with motherhood. Despite the challenging feats I accomplished in my life, including meditating a total of several months of 10-day silent retreats, planting over 100,000 trees in bug infested bogs, and contracting malaria twice in rural Nigeria (to name a few), nothing tested my stamina and sanity as much as motherhood. Nothing.
My health declined, my sanity waned, my relationships were challenged and I needed to make a change, both for the well-being of my family and myself.
Theresa brings huge compassion, brilliant inner strength, and a grounded energy to her counselling. She is an amazing listener who offers a beautiful balance of curiousity, acceptance, and possibilities to her clients. I always feel met and held with Theresa.
– Mother of three daughters, Sooke, BC
Getting Support Was Critical to My Success. Counselling Created the Pivot
Asking for help was not easy for someone who prided themselves on independence. With no family nearby and a husband working long hours I had to dig deep within myself, find more resources, develop new tools to calm my crazy, sleep deprived mind and reprioritize my life. It was a complete overhaul that left me with a more peaceful state of mind. Counselling was a significant part of this.
Completing a 3-year Transpersonal Counselling Psychology program with Clearmind International in 2014 changed my life. I learned how to be more aware of my emotions and take responsibility for them. I learned how to question my mistaken beliefs (sometimes repeatedly) and keep trusting in love, which was bold for my family system. Being consistently supported and held accountable allowed me to reach my goals. These were the resources I drew on when motherhood rocked my boat. It wasn’t that the challenges disappeared, but instead my relationship to my challenges significantly improved.
I also drew on my decade of experience teaching Ashtanga yoga and practicing Vipassana meditation. Learning over years, to observe the tendencies and habit patterns of my (monkey) mind through these daily practices proved paramount in the challenging moments of motherhood.
I believe in you and your ability to thrive. I am committed to empowering new and aspiring mothers, step mothers and parents by recognizing the challenges parenthood presents are opportunities for deep healing, connection and profound growth.
My vision is for all mothers, step mothers and parents to feel supported by their community and secure in their own inner resources, to best care for their child(ren). Healthy families are the foundation of connected communities and a thriving, healthy world.
We All Have Difficult Times. Counselling Helps
I believe in the value of counselling and I know first-hand the benefit of being facilitated through life’s difficulties. Counselling has benefited my marriage, my family relationships and transformed my relationship with myself. I now have the tools to relate to my struggles more mindfully and ride the waves of life rather than get swept up and washed out to sea.
I believe our healing journey starts with acceptance. We have to start right where we are. It’s important to be accountable for our behaviours and remember ultimately, we are more than our actions. It takes courage and bravery to go beyond defensiveness and be honest and vulnerable with ourself and with others. This is where the gifts await.
I chose this profession and became accredited with the Association of Cooperative Counselling Therapists of Canada because I believe in it and I believe in you.
Entering motherhood is a miraculous and overwhelming
life transition that can intensify your struggles.
Move through this transition with more ease amidst the uncertainty and change.